When Life Falls Apart: How to Rewrite Your Story During Major Transitions
If you are going through a life transition right now, I see you, and I know how unsettling this must feel.
Whether it’s a breakup, a layoff, a divorce, or a career change.
Transitions are uncomfortable, sometimes heartbreaking, and HARD to process.
I’ve learned it the hard way myself.
As a French expat, I didn’t consider being laid off as a real possibility—until it hit me, after being promoted and crushing it in my role, TWICE.
This created A LOT of questioning and emotions. I started reviewing every decision I had made so far and felt POWERLESS.
Whatever the circumstances, it can come as a shock and create a whole load of self-doubt.
“Was I not enough?”
“Who am I now?”
“What did I do wrong?”
You might feel anger, sadness, fear, confusion. And it is very tempting to let it overwhelm you, to believe all these stories rising to the surface because we want to find a reason why this happens. We want to feel in control in some way; we want to make sense of it—at least our mind tries to, using every piece of information it has access to, which means information from the past.
Because the truth is:
We actually have zero control over the future, and the only things our mind knows are what it has already experienced.
The good news is that this is an opportunity to learn about your subconscious. Because in a period of transition, where things seem to fall apart, your mind is forced to QUESTION your reality. It’s looking everywhere to understand it, which is why old stories and patterns are revealed.
So, at this moment, you literally have a choice: believe the limiting thoughts that come to mind, or use them as an opportunity to learn about your limiting beliefs.
Let me explain:
When a sudden event shatters our comfortable reality, it shocks our nervous system because we are entering what is unfamiliar. It opens space for new meaning in the Unknown.
For that reason, our mind is on high alert; thoughts start racing to tell us why this is happening, as if we know everything and can make sense of it. In reality, there is a lot of information that could explain the event that we are simply not aware of.
So the question becomes: what makes you choose this specific story?
For example, if you are going through a breakup or a layoff, you could be thinking things like, “I am not enough.”
What this is showing you is a belief that you might be holding subconsciously—maybe the belief that you are not worthy of happiness or love. Maybe something else.
A question you could ask then is: What does this say about me?
Questions are SO powerful for understanding who you are. Being curious is the first step. Here is how to assess and learn from any challenge you face:
Step 1: Take the time to feel what you experience. Emotions are the language of the soul. It is a cry for attention.
What is this emotion telling you?
Step 2: Pay attention to the thoughts these emotions trigger.
Journaling is the easiest way to take back control of the narrative and become aware.
What is the story that comes to mind?
Step 3: Question the story.
What is ABSOLUTELY true about this?
What do you know for certain?
What are the actual FACTS about this story?
Imagine telling this story to someone else—what would they be able to confirm with absolute certainty?
A lot of the “facts” that come to mind are interpretations of the event, your mind trying to tell you this person did this because of X.
Step 4: Identify the pattern: Where else in your life have you experienced a similar series of events with similar emotions or thoughts? This makes it easier to identify a pattern and therefore a belief at play.
Step 5: What else is possible? What story feels more true? And then look for reasons to believe this story. What tells you this story feels more true?
Thoughts are here to confirm your core beliefs. You have the power to choose what you believe.
Do you truly choose to believe that you are not enough or not worthy? What can tell you that you are actually enough or worthy?
Think about the people in your life who love and support you. Think about the challenges you have already overcome, the resilience you have developed when overcoming what felt impossible.
Breakups or transitions are redirections. They are literal signs that something was out of alignment. They are a door to the next level of yourself and an invitation to expand your comfort zone.
Once you choose to see challenges as a way to expand and become more of who you are, you can start feeling excitement instead of dread. It is scary to face the Unknown, but you can choose to believe in yourself and your capacity to face it powerfully.
As you read this, what comes to mind? Pay attention. If you feel resistance and don’t believe this is possible, you are in the right place.
Join me live every Sunday to do this with a community and see for yourself how other like-hearted people overcome challenges every week!
With love,
Sarah
